Friday.. Me Like! I am waiting for a girl to come over to see me. It is a sad story but the kind of person I love to help. She has some feelings that are the wrost you can find in the psycology area. emptyness feelings. I will not give the name of the problem shhe ahs. But noone knows what emptyness feelings are unless you experienced them yourself. It is not fun, t drives those people to do incredible things, most of the time their life, without a clear security from soemone else, is only up and downs, and they feel more than others one day amd just shit other. They really are self destructive (even going to hurting themselves physically). At the end they end up playing different roles for different people. I tis awfull becuase they really suffer and feels noone understands them, and it is true.
The secutity that a person usually has is from the inside but they need ot find it outside themswelves and at the end they destriy it. It is hard to have different oles in life cause you need such a level of control over all people, to separate the roles and at the end their life is just one big lie. They feel alone, and they are alone, they dont know who they are and they go from almost depression to high levels of joy, but iwthout ereasons. they move to start jumping from one guy to another, they keep a lot of secrets thinking only they know it, and the reality is that sooner or later people know things.
They neve ropened themselves, they can only do it to one person that represents their security, and of no logical reson they destory always the relatiobnship with that person, most of the times with lies, really bad lies. they use to be unfaithfull, narcissistic, and without any real ground. They feel noone cares about them, that they are the one keeping all the others alife, solving their problems. But the reality is like the themselves use othe rpeople all the time, which makes that they dont rerally have friends, and never for along time.
Combin all this with the feelings of emptyness, that hurt so much, and you just feel so bad abotu them and want to help them. But they dont let other people to help. They can come to me and tell me that i dont know anything, that i am useless, always wrong about them, and they move from one doctor to another, just ooking for medicines to keep the anxiey down so they avoid panic attacks, and other forms of anxiety. The ususally become reaaly promiscuos, they try many times drugs, they lie like mad, they dont trust anyone more than for a very short period of time..etc etc. Emptyness is theoir life, and they are slaves of it..
And the wors of all, they are totally blind to their problem. Even when you put the fact in front of them, they just dobnt see it. They tell you that they onkly hurt guys, they have so bad luck. they dont see it. They have or had suicide thoughts.
It is awfull, but i really liek to help them, but it is not all the time i can .. and i hate funerals.
Now I am waiting for one of those. She is a wondefrull girl, .. hope i can help. I am really worry abo0ut her.
